Tomorrow is Mother's Day so I thought it fitting that I would give life to a new blog.
Compared to real childbirth though, there's no comparison. Clearly there will be no screaming, water-breaking and/or contractions. You won't read of any profane-laced crying (well, maybe some), and last but not least there will be no epidurals - this Mother's Day is a piece of cake.
I guess I'm going to start out with the eternal optimism we mothers all have when we first have children. For the most part, mothers are on the younger side of life and so full of energy they want to spend all of it chasing little ankle biters around the house.
MOM 101: there are no schools, no boot camps...nothing to prepare you for it! Oh sure, there are those 'raising children how-to' books at Barnes and Noble. Save your money because nothing, absolutely nothing is like they describe it in those books. Trust me on that.
So it's Mother's Day...You may get a gift, flowers, a card or a phone call....or you may get nothing.
That's reality. I know women who get nothing. They cry, as well they should.
You see, one gives their heart and soul to raise a child. There are supposed to be two people doing it together, but many times there is only one. That's sad but it's a fact.
For there to be a child, there has to be a mother. That's another fact. Even if the baby daddy isn't in the picture, the mother is. If you are a new mother, welcome to the club. If you're a single mother, hang in there. If you're an older than 45 yr. old mother, bless your heart...are you happy now?
Seriously though, for the purposes here - my perspective is of being an almost 60 year old mother for many years. I'm talking here to the 'seasoned mother'.
God gives you ONE mother. That's a blessing and a curse. Some people have step-mothers too and some have even more than one of them! Good Luck with that.
But in the real world you still have ONE real mother even if she's the worst mother imaginable. She being the one who gave birth to you. She could have left town the week after you were born...she's still your mother. She can be in prison but she's your mother. Good, bad or indifferent - we all get only one. Deal with her as best you can. You can't pick your mother. For nine months, hopefully, she's put you in front of everyone and everything, especially herself. Some women don't deserve to be mothers but that doesn't stop them from being one. Some of you don't deserve to have that kind of mother either but that's another blog in the future.
Let's not get maudlin; after all it's Mother's Day.
For many of you, your mother may be gone now. Other mothers, even really old ones, and I'm talking over 85, are still full of life and living alone (you are fortunate). The other scenario is your mother can be living with you or somewhere else with your sister or brother. She can be in assisted living or a nursing home. She can be healthy as a horse, if you're lucky; or she can suffering with a terrible illness. I've ridden the entire mother rodeo so I truly know what you are experiencing no matter what you're going through. It's not easy.
I thank God I had one mother and one mother-in-law: but I still miss them so much it hurts. Especially on Mother's Day.
As for me, I am a mother of two sons. Sometimes it seems like there are more but I'm happy with only two and God knew what he was doing when he gave me boys. I'm a hard-talking mother; it's never been easy to be my child. I am my father's daughter and he ran a tight ship...same with me. I hold high expectations and admit I've always loved my sons but there were times I did not like them. Things are great now but we still have our episodes. They are great young men and their father was the best man for the job I ever hoped he would be. Not only does he put up with me but he's been a great role model, motivator and guidance counselor to our sons.
So kudos to each and every mother who has dried and cried enough tears to fill a field of flowers.
Motherhood is not for sissies.
Your mom will get worn out, called out, put out, stressed out and wiped out. Sometimes she will out of touch, out of sync, out of money, out of time and out of her mind.
Mother/son/daughter talk is not cheap. It comes with a price to pay, usually at the expense of the mother. Children are not told to 'listen to your mother' for nothing - mothers know a lot more than kids think.
Most of us know the phrase 'one hand washes the other' and in most cases you will find a mother doing the laundry too. There's also a saying 'a new broom sweeps clean' - well your mother makes that broom work and occasionally is accused of riding it!
Your mother will be your biggest ally in good and bad times and she should and can be your worst enemy if you cross the line. And you will cross it. We all cross it. We barge through life and don't give her the thanks she deserves and then before you know it you have children of your own ripping your heart out of your chest because they don't know what they don't know. (If your mother is around to witness this - you can bet she'll remind you that you did it to her too!) It's called Karma.
So honor your mother when she's driving you nuts...God says so.
On this day, I will dedicate 'Musings From the Peninsula' to my own mother, Dorothy Catherine - we didn't always see things the same way but I loved her with all of my heart and miss her to this day. I would do some things and not say others. I have regrets but those are mine to deal with and mine alone.
To my other special mother/friends, especially Carolyn and all of the millions of women who didn't or couldn't have their own children but are raising other's. Then there are those who have the calling to take care of dogs or cats and are mommies in their own special way to them...tomorrow is your day too.
God Bless You, Peace and Love,
Patricia
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